It's Not Okay
by drakloak
Summary: After the events of Season 4, Adora, Bow, and the gang are quick to find and rescue Glimmer from Horde Prime's ship. But when the two find Glimmer and Catra, Emily decides that it's time for a bit of a heart-to-heart and for Adora to hear the apology she so desperately needs and deserves. This is written as a prediction/noncanon supplement to s5. TW for mental/verbal abuse.


["Adora, is...is everything alright?" Bow had lifted himself up to sit on the castle railing beside Adora. "You've been avoiding everyone lately except for when you're needed in the war meetings...and even then, you're really quiet."

Adora shifted her knees closer to her chest, but at least she didn't pull away. "It's...it's fine," she insisted.

"It doesn't sound fine," Bow persisted. He gently rested his hand on top of hers. "We're best friends. You know you can talk to me, right? A-after everything, I know...I know you must be going through a lot right now. And Glimmer isn't even-..."

Adora flinched at the name. "It's my fault," she squeaked out, almost instinctively, before turning away, not elaborating.

Bow blinked, eyebrows furrowing in concern. "No, I- I'm sorry, Adora, I didn't mean to bring her up if she's a sensitive subject for you...it's...it's my fault that she's gone, anyways." He looked a bit downtrodden at that.

Adora shook her head. "'s not that..." she murmured. "It's not your fault. It's mine. I was supposed to save everyone, save the entire world, but I couldn't. Horde Prime could destroy us all at any minute, and I don't even have She-ra's power to protect us anymore. I couldn't save Glimmer, I couldn't save Salineas, I couldn't save A-Angelica, I couldn't save..." '_Catra.'_ Her voice cracked, a few tears rolling down her cheeks, but she quickly wiped them away. "I'm fine, though. I just have to keep fighting. I just have to stay strong. I'm a soldier first and foremost. I just have to accept that my best isn't good enough." Her voice cracked again.

"Adora..." Bow wrapped Adora in a tight hug. "Adora, you saved all of us. You stopped the Heart of Etheria from killing us all. You saved us from the portal Catra set off. You turned the tide of the war even though you had no reason whatsoever to side with us. You've saved so many lives. Anyone who says otherwise is just...just...just a big jerk!"

"Glimmer said so," Adora quickly replied, retreating into Bow's hug after she said it. A brief bit of fear flickered in her eyes, as if she was worried Bow would side with Glimmer over her.

Bow's eyes widened. "Glimmer said _WHAT_?" he asked seriously.

Adora winced a bit. "The rebellion would be better off if I never joined them. My best isn't good enough. A-and I'm..." her voice cracked again, "...I'm the reason Angelica is dead." She finally met Bow's gaze, eyes filled with tears. "Maybe you all would've been better off if I just stayed a soldier in the Horde, if I had never met either of you, if I had never hurt any of you. It certainly feels like it sometimes. What good have I done for any of you? How are we better off now than where we started? You and Glimmer, and all the other princesses...you were all happy without me. A-and Catra...i-if I had just stayed...maybe she wouldn't have done all those horrible things. She keeps saying that over and over in my head - I can hear her voice...I-in the portal, she said it was all my fault. I told her I didn't believe her, but a part of me does. Especially when...Angelica's last request was for me to take care of Glimmer. And I couldn't even do that right." She cupped her hands over her eyes, beginning to sob. "I'm sorry, Bow. I'm sorry for getting your best friend taken away from you. I'm sorry for sending your queen to a death sentence. I-I didn't want her to go, I wanted to save her, I swear I did... I never meant to hurt anyone. I never wanted to hurt anyone. I just...I just wanted to do good. I'm sorry."

Bow's eyes widened further and he tightened his hug around Adora. Adora blinked, shoulders sagging in relief as her hands fell from her face, releasing tension that she seemed to not have even noticed building up. It must have been comforting for her, for Bow to still hug her close after all of that. "...Glimmer never should've said any of that," Bow said seriously, trying not to let his own voice crack, even though a few tears fell down his cheeks. "Adora, all you've ever done is try to help us. Even though you were part of the Horde, raised there since you were a baby, you always tried so hard to be kind and do right. You were manipulated and abused by Horde...by Shadow Weaver, ever since you were a little kid. You were isolated from the outside world and you weren't taught how to be kind. But you still tried to be kind. You're still merciful. You still have so much good in you, no matter how much your childhood tried to smear it out of you. Directly after being manipulated by them, you were immediately pulled into Light Hope's trap, becoming part of her weapon, her plan, against your will. And...part of that, part of that was Glimmer's fault. I'm sure she was manipulated, too, I mean I know she'd never want to destroy Etheria, but you'd have every right to be mad at her...but you're not. In reality, you're just in a lot of pain, right? First Catra and the Horde, then Glimmer and Light Hope...and Shadow Weaver is there throughout all of it. Crawling around our palace like a welcomed guest instead of like the prisoner she should be treated like. She was a key in isolating you, abusing you as a kid." He buried his face in Adora's hair, curling around her protectively. "I'm so sorry, Adora. I-I didn't even think, and I'm sure Glimmer didn't think...but that doesn't matter. Just because we weren't smart enough to connect the dots doesn't make what you've been through any better. Adora..." He knelt down beside her, looking her seriously in the eyes. "You can always talk to me when you need me. I'll always be on your side. I'm Glimmer's best friend, or I was, but I'm your best friend, too. We're the best friend squad. And Glimmer has done a lot of things to hurt you. And that...that's something she should apologize to you for, not the other way around. The fact that you still want to save her shows how kind you really are."

Adora managed a tear-stained smile at Bow, holding it for a brief second before looking thoughtful yet despondent at the same time. "...Is that why watching Glimmer hang out with Shadow Weaver bothers me so much?" she asked weakly. "I-I mean...she said I was just jealous that I wasn't Shadow Weaver's favorite anymore, but I kind of figured I wouldn't be after leaving the Horde and all. I-I mean, I know Shadow Weaver treated me way better than Catra and stuff but...every time I see Shadow Weaver with Glimmer, I get this horrible pit in my stomach. It's kind of like when I was having those vision nightmares of Shadow Weaver...it makes me feel all panicked. But I also feel like Glimmer would bite my head off if I tried to tell her to stay away from Shadow Weaver. Wh-which I guess does make me a little angry...I feel like I should be angry, defensive, so I try to defend myself when it comes to Shadow Weaver, but I really don't know if I'm right or not. But back when we were trying to stop Catra from opening the portal...every time I saw Shadow Weaver zap Glimmer's power, it made my heart start racing. My brain wouldn't stop yelling, 'danger! danger! danger!' I had a job to do, so I just focused on the battle, but...I can't get the sirens out of my head. I'm scared. I'm still scared of Shadow Weaver, deep down. I want to just get over it already, move on with my life, but I just...can't seem to."

"Shadow Weaver!" Bow gasped. "Shadow Weaver has been manipulating Glimmer this entire time! That's why she's acting so weird! She must be isolating her from us, just like she did to you and Catra. She's trying to use our conflicts against one another, so that she can control Glimmer. Glimmer is a really powerful queen and a really powerful sorceress, so it's no wonder Shadow Weaver chose her of all people."

"Me and...Catra...?" Adora blinked.

"Yeah. What, you didn't realize that? Shadow Weaver talked Catra into being against you. She encouraged her evil actions. She's the reason Catra's the way she is."

"But Catra said I'm the reason...I'm the reason she is the way she is." Adora's expression fell. "I don't think she's wrong."

"Well I _know_ that she is," Bow insisted. "She's saying that to deflect her own bad actions and deflect what Shadow Weaver did to her. Didn't you hear about all the things that Scorpia said she did? And that was just about Entrapta! I'm sure there's way more than that, that Scorpia just didn't tell us. And she did that to her friends, to her allies! You're not the reason she is the way she is. Shadow Weaver is."

"I'll try to take your word for it," Adora replied softly. She leaned back into Bow's hug. "...Thank you for listening to me, Bow."

Bow wrapped his arms around Adora again. "Of course, best friend."]

The projection faded, leaving the bare wall of the space ship behind.

"...You weren't ever supposed to see that," Adora added quietly, shooting a slight glare Emily's way. Her arms were folded, body closed off from Glimmer and the other unfortunate capture.

Emily unhelpfully beeped in a happy tone.

"Oh...oh, god no..." Glimmer was staring at where the projection had been, tears in her eyes. "What have I done?" '_You stupid, insecure brat! How could you say those things to Adora?! How could you not realize what you were doing?! How did you not even apologize until it was too late?! You idiot! You naive idiot! You even fell for Shadow Weaver, really thinking she had your best interests at heart, that she really wanted to help Brightmoon, help you...and how could you just forgive her for everything she put Adora through? Adora's my best friend...was my best friend. I don't think I deserve to call her that anymore. _The words wouldn't form. Tears cascaded down her cheeks as she stared at Adora and Bow, mouth agape. _Say something, idiot!' _"I-I'm so sorry, Adora," she stammered out.

Adora shook her head, still not meeting Glimmer's eyes. "I'm used to it. It's nothing I can't handle."

Catra had immediately shoved herself in the corner of the space ship furthest away from Adora and the others, but she couldn't help but watch the recording. What she saw didn't make her better. She watched it with wide eyes, a slightly disheveled expression on her face. '_Why isn't Adora's misery bringing me any sense of joy? Why do I feel...even worse?'_ She scowled, grimacing, and turned away furiously, tail lashing anxiously.

"But that's not okay, Adora!" Glimmer insisted, still crying. "It's not okay that people just treat you like a decoy, like a disposable part of a machine! It's not okay that people just use you when they have something to gain from you! And it's not okay that people suddenly turn on you the second you have a disagreement with them. How Shadow Weaver treated you wasn't okay, how Catra treated you wasn't okay, how Light Hope treated you wasn't okay, and I...I think I treated you the worst of them all. At least they weren't your best friend when they told you all those horrible things. At least Catra had the decency to break up with you first. I'm so sorry, Adora..." She fell to her knees, still sobbing. "I don't even want to ask you to forgive me, not right now. I haven't done anything remotely deserving of your forgiveness. I said so many horrible things...A-Adora? None of them were true. I only said them to hurt you. Please don't believe them...I was so stupid. I thought I could just manipulate people into shutting up like my mom-..." She trailed off, wincing at the reminder of her mother. "I miss her so much. But it's not your fault that she's gone, Adora. S-she...told you to take care of me? Adora, I want to take care of you, too. You're my best friend, and I love you. I always have, even though I said such horrible, cruel things. I should've never said those things...I'm a bad friend. But...if you want me to, I really want to make it up to you. Y-you don't have to give me another chance, but..."

Adora knelt down beside Glimmer before reaching forward to hug her. Glimmer looked surprised, but leaned into Adora's hug, going quiet. Adora didn't speak for a long moment, tears falling down her own cheeks. '_"It's not okay that people just treat you like a decoy, like a disposable part of a machine! It's not okay that people just use you when they have something to gain from you! And it's not okay that people suddenly turn on you the second you have a disagreement with them." No one's ever said that to me before. I felt like something was wrong, but I thought that maybe it was just me, but if Glimmer says that...'_ Her hug around Glimmer tightened slightly. "Thank you, Glimmer," she whispered. "I needed to hear that."

Bow put a hand on both of their shoulders, smiling at them both.

"And thank you, too, Bow," Adora added, smiling back at him.

"Huh? Why?"

"You were right back then. I wasn't sure, because you never got mad at me, but...you were right." Adora's gaze shifted over to Catra briefly, expression falling before she quickly looked away again.

Catra didn't even glance at the others, tail still lashing. '_I really don't care what Sparkles thinks_,' half her brain noisily insisted. '_It's not okay_,' the other half echoed Glimmer's words over and over.

["Give it a rest, Sparkles. Horde Prime is on a completely different level from your magic - you're not gonna break out of this cell no matter how much you try. I've fought you before, so trust me, I'd know."

Glimmer fired blast after blast of magic at the cell bars, trying to whittle them down. "Yeah, well, I kicked your butt pretty thoroughly the last time we fought and you haven't held a candle to me ever since Shadow Weaver switched sides. I'm way more powerful than you know - and I'm certainly doing more than you're doing, just sitting around on your butt like a useless fur-ball!"

Catra bristled at the mention of Shadow Weaver. "You really think that parasite cares what happens to you?" she asked bitterly, grimacing at Glimmer. "After what she did to me? After what she did to Adora?"

"She was with the Horde then," Glimmer insisted, unfazed. "Adora did bad things with the Horde, too. But Shadow Weaver changed just like Adora did."

Catra burst out laughing. "Cute! That's cute. You think you're different. Especially when she has more to gain from you than she ever did from me or Adora." Her eyes narrowed seriously. "You know what Shadow Weaver wants? She wants power, control. You're the princess-turned-queen of Brightmoon and your dad was her ex-pupil. You really think that she's befriending you for anything other than your magic? Really, what proof do you even have that she's changed?"

Glimmer scowled right back. "She's made me more powerful!" she argued. "She's taught me so much more than I ever knew before!"

"She's a magical parasite, Glimmer! She's using your own strength to build up her own. Of course she wants you to be stronger, because then she gets more power for herself!"

Glimmer clicked her teeth in disapproval, but her expression waned slightly. "But...she was right about the runestones. I thought for a second that maybe she just wanted to keep the Black Garnet for herself, and that's why she didn't want me to take Scorpia to the Fright Zone, but she was right...I never should've listened to Lighthope." '_Adora was right, too, but she'd probably hate to be in agreement with Shadow Weaver.'_

"Or maybe, your gut instinct was right, and on top of that, I'm pretty sure destroying the world she wants to have power over isn't exactly on Shadow Weaver's bucket list," Catra snapped back. "You fell for Lighthope. Who's to say you aren't falling for Shadow Weaver in the exact same way? You're just a naive orphan grieving the childhood you never got to have. You've been hurt, and you're trying desperately to prove yourself to a world that'll never accept you."

Glimmer stepped back a bit, stunned. "...why are you telling me this? Why does it even concern you? It's not like you're exactly one to talk."

Catra smirked widely at her. "Exactly. I'm hard on you because I see so much of myself in you. Shadow Weaver said I was just like her, and well, I think she was right. There's not any hope for me anymore." Her expression lowered to a blank, unenthused gaze. "You never should've spared me. You should've finished me off and done us both a favor."

"...I'm one of the good guys, and I also hate your guts, so I'm not going to put you out of your misery," Glimmer retorted defensively. She sat down, seeming to heed Catra's words, but something still seemed off about her expression.

After a few minutes of silence, Catra finally spoke up again.

"Glimmer?"

Glimmer jumped, startled. "What?"

"Don't screw up what you have with Adora like I did. Don't be such a stubborn hothead about everything. It's not going to get you anywhere, it's not going to make you happy. I should know. I pushed everyone away so I could become powerful, and all I feel now is...emptiness." She clenched her fists. "Power wasn't worth it. But I learned that several hundred mistakes too late."

Glimmer blinked, surprised by her prison-mate's self-insight. She stared down at the ground, clearly lost in thought. "...maybe you are right about Shadow Weaver. Adora...Adora was right about Lighthope. I should've listened to her from the start, but instead I pulled rank on my two best friends and told them to do what I told them to do. That's...that's what my mom always used to do when she disagreed with me. It's what I'm used to."

"Oh, mood, I know what that's like."

Glimmer winced. "I don't...I don't know..." She trailed off. "...Catra?"

"Yeah?"

"I do know one thing - how Shadow Weaver treated you, you and Adora...that wasn't normal, it wasn't okay. I don't care what kind of monster you've become as a result of it, but that doesn't excuse what she did. I guess...I guess I never really thought of it that way, how much it must hurt Adora when I take Shadow Weaver's advice over hers..." She blinked, eyebrows furrowing.

Catra's mouth was agape, staring at Glimmer. "Whatever," she quickly replied, turning around as a single tear rolled down her cheek. '_It wasn't okay. What Shadow Weaver did to you wasn't okay, it wasn't normal.'_]


End file.
